Home is where her heart is

Sometimes, we search, overlooking the essence of our happiness.
At times we don’t need to look any further as love is within with the sphere of our existence
At times we loose sight of happiness because we waste time searching for more
Every now and then we let go of dreams because we define them as our source of eternity and happiness, yet we are eager to let goof it all, at the sight of an obstacle.
We should learn to work together and not worry about our imperfections for no one is perfect, contentment does not disregard ambition.

friday 2 Monday

Aspire to Inspire - The medium can be the message

My first exposure to fashion was as a baby, some would argue that I was born into it because my biological mother was a fashion designer. However, my love for creativity came in many forms. My earliest memory was at my neighbour’s house watching a Whitney Houston music video which I had never done before. Watching MTV video’s made a big impression on me; a part of me knew I wanted the voice to change the faces, outfits, settings and even images of other artist in the United Kingdom and Nigeria as these were countries that I identified with as a child.

I was inspired and particularly awed by all the techniques and skill of the cinematographer. Although I developed a keen interest in creative direction back then, my mother was particularly controlling but loving in her own way and did not like the idea of me being creative as she felt the creative industry was not a “proper job” prospect to aim towards. I guess I expected her to understand first hand because she was a successful fashion designer herself. As the fear of my mother was deeply instilled in me I didn’t to disappoint her. As I became older my passion for fashion and creativity grew but I had no idea what to do as I had grown to hate that which I feared; a fashion rebel I didn’t want to be anything like my mother.


It wasn't until my teenage years that I became actively involved with making backpacks and hair scrunches; directing my own fashions at my mother’s office. I was 21 years old when a friend who was a well known Nigerian actor at that time introduced me to acting; he invited me to try out an audition. I got the part, actually I got three parts in the Nigerian film ‘London Gigolo’ I thoroughly enjoyed the first experience so I was delighted when I was approached by the organisers of Miss Nigeria Uk to join the styling team and by 2006 I joined the design team. Unfortunately, the organisers did not have the funds to pay me and so I decided to leave.

I reminisce on university days when I organised photographic sessions for the fun of it and made enough money , my tutor soon noticed my drive and stated that she believed that I would be nothing short of a millionaire. She suggested that I should join the agency that supplied tutors before I could make the phone call I was offered the job.

I thoroughly enjoyed the challenge, teaching university level was great and the money was okay but I needed more so I came up with the Name ‘Fotuah’ – the photographic queen & ‘Enitano’ – Destined to make history. Over the years I had made my own outfits and sometimes made outfits for close friends who were singers so it was a natural progression that a part of my brand would have its own fashion label but I never really took it seriously because I had the notion instilled in me that creative jobs need supplements.

In 2006, within the space of three months I had lost my best friend, father and my grandmother. In addition to that I suffered an accident at work which left me dependent on the help of the nurses. When I recovered I was disappointed could have stopped creativity completely but something urged me to go back.

I was bored and in pain but very determined. After a few months I discovered myspace so I decided to try out a few design and put them up for sale. I was happy with sales so made a few more, I was then approached by store owner and show organisers in London and Newcastle so of which knew of my previous work with Nick Barton – a UK based music video director.

I spent a lot of time in Newcastle enjoying a series of lunches with the famous Nell McAndree and her baby at the time.

My perspective of the fashion designer has changed, you begin to realise that it’s more than just sewing and cutting exceptional pieces or even getting on fashion shows. It goes beyond that, Creativity shows you what you are made of, it pushes me to my limits and challenges me in every way possible, mentally, physically and emotionally. You learn about dedication, hard work and patience. It teaches you how to be the best you can be. My motivation comes from the fact that I want to be better not just to be better by perfecting my techniques but to be a better person.

Last year I decided to take an unofficial break because I wanted the medium of my message through fashion or music to reflect what I was about as a designer. This is a whole new experience for me as this was a goal I set myself and there are already a host of critics but I welcome the challenged with open arms.


My confidence making such a decision was pretty low, I was extremely nervous and I didn’t feel I was fully prepared to take on the negativity that would occur. However, today I feel like I have won the race as this was a great achievement within itself and I am really proud of myself. I can look at my collection now and feel no shame as I am not comparing designs with any firm neither am I concerned about people who continue to copy my designs or slogans. Now love it because it means that my ethos has made a huge influence on what standard and level other designers want to be at.



I see creativity now as a part of my life. For me, it’s been a memorable journey and will continue to be a journey. No matter what I have been through I always come back better and stronger and with more dedication. With every mistake I have learnt a lesson. With every negative thought, I have learnt how to stay positive and believe in myself and to trust my abilities. And with this I believe I have fully understood the true meaning of Perseverance.

During my break I spent a lot of my time working with the homeless. This was an opportunity to test myself as a leader and to be challenge because I get to teach some of what I have been taught. The experience has been fun and fulfilling. Hopefully, I would like to pass on my knowledge and experience to others. I want to improve myself each time and maybe influence others through my example.

As this part of my journey comes to an end I can truly say I feel ready close this chapter and I am prepared to open a new one.

Rant: The truth about my Mother

A lot of people ask me about my mother because I have openly discussed the death of my late father and grandmother.

The truth is simple; I don’t have an affiliation with my biological mother; frankly speaking I really can’t stand her. All she does is gossip about her sisters whilst conveniently forgetting her own flaws, place them or pedestals then what for them to make mistakes so she can tear them down yet she is quick to a+&* kiss whenever she wants something from them.

My mother is generally ignorant to anything positive that anyone does or says… except if it made her look like a GOOD PERSON – ( by good person, I mean VIRGIN MARY – AKA can DO NO WRONG) she is constantly jeopardizing her heart’s health by trying to read our duplicate diaries that were set up just so her interfering arse would read.
I have memories of her waking me up at four in the morning just to spend an hour nagging about the inadequacies of others.

For this reason, I constantly endeavour to take responsibility for my actions as I feel that it is so easy to hate, dislike, mistreat and judge people. It’s much harder to show kindness and be forgiving; especially when you feel judged and attacked for no reason. I know that a lot of my mothers’ actions stem from hurt from her youth and its easier for her to blame her children when her husband is dead and gone.

However as an adult I choose to stay away from negative people with negative thoughts, it is imperative that I surround myself with like minded individuals who are open minded enough to get help when they need it.

我講英語 Yep! Je parle anglais

My attempts to convince myself that I am multilingual hasn’t gone unnoticed by my director … He tells me I have different accents designed for various moods i.e. American – in times of range, English – most of the day, Russian – At presentations, Ghanian/Nigerian– whenever clients don’t speak English….

Ehhh!... I totally disagree!!!. I am now learning a few Ilacano words thanks to Manang Jeniper who taught me a couple of words back in o5' - I guess she figured it will help when I go back to the Philippines once we all get deported! lol

My favourite words at the moments are

She’s talking Shit – TI-BA-GA-NA KAS-LA TAK-KEY (this I can say whenever I get bored)

She don’t know anything – AWAN AM-MO-NA

I’m hungry – MA-BI-SIN-AK ( the most important words in my opinion)

EAT

This year seems to be flying …so high that I signed up at the local gym because I’m sick of the gracious congratulatory wishes and the“are you preggers ? ”questions from silly aristocrats … You didn’t really buy that, did you? Like every other self obsessed individual I joined because I believed in physical appearance, attractiveness, sexiness and vanity … After a lot of working out and some soul searching I have realised that true happiness comes from inner beauty not the illusions created by the latest glossy magazines.

When it comes to living a healthy lifestyle, I’m an advocate for eating a balanced diet because starvation just doesn’t give you long term results Trust me, I know I went on the no carbs, no gluten, no wheat and the list goes on diet. I was a tender size 8 or should I say 7. It made me cranky and miserable and my skinny frame with my gigantic afro was not the coolest look either.

Now I say eat good and work out regularly …whether it’s shopping with Nell in Newcastle or hopping on the central line in London with Dwayne after training. My life in my words has been a blessing and I’m not afraid to enjoy a good meal.

She's Back

Wow I forgot I had a blog… my addiction to work, facebook and seeking truth have been my excuses hitherto. Thanks to the entire enduring Enitano blog followers who have visited my blog thus far and sending me emails to keep you posted. I was pretty lousy last year at keeping up to date; I hope this year will be much better as I blog about “whatever I like” - whether its my creations, inspirations or life journeys … I’ll do my best to keep you all posted.